Those cold eyes. Those cold, determined and neglecting eyes. Again and again.
Drilling into your skin and finding thst tiny fragile little thing in you called heart.
Destroying it, over and over.
Li forced her body to walk closer to the walls and moved on to the last lesson. She would soon be home.
Early as always she sat down in the corridor, avoiding eye contact with them - that clan of good people. Deciding wether or not you're worth being accepted. Li was not accepted, ever since she started at the school people there had withdrawn from her. For nothing. The only thing they gave her back were rumours, smashed in her face. Li was the black sheep, though very innocent.
Avoiding eye contact with them was the only way she could maybe save a tiny bit of that heart, a shatter.

Finally home. Li turned on the old record player that she had inherited from her grandfather. Playing right now was an old Ella Fitzgerald record that she'd bought from a second-hand store. She had always loved second-hand stores - the smell, the feeling. Disappearing into them. 
The melodies from the speakers danced, sweeping around Li and embracing her, holding her tight and carefully transporting her to that world in her heart that wasn't destroyed. It was far away and protected. 2000 light-years away from this world. Between those worlds there was only darkness. Also memories from the past. You had to re-experience some of them to live free and careless in that place.
Without thinking she had changes the records - turning off the vinyl player and determingly gotten a CD-player rolling. Soon the intro of the song It Takes a Fool to Remain Sane gripped her. Li lost it, something. That transparent shield around your brain making you do what you're supposed to do.
Li didn't want that. She wanted something else.
She lay on her bed that dark autumn afternoon and fell asleep.

There was a familiar and loud sound of a door opening and she woke up. Standing in her doorway was her mother, smiling.
The night passed by - time to sleep again. The only concern was waking up. School again.
The path that Li walked to school on every morning had gotten covered by orange and yellow leaves, everything else was grey. Every step she took was heavy and unsteady, anxious thoughts whirled around in her head. But she had to get there, she had to meet those walls again.




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